THE SNAKE THE CROSS THE CROWN

[Please pardon this introductory, entirely-off-topic rant, but... Maybe the terrorists have it right. Maybe "Death to America" shouldn't be seen so much as a murderous threat but as an invitation to a mercy killing. In the wake of 9/11, I remember so many pundits expressing self-righteous shock and awe at the fact that the hijackers could live in the U.S. for a period of YEARS and not be beguiled into a deep, rapturous love for our culture. To hell with your theoretical/theocratical assurances of an afterlife rife with veneration and virgins -- we've got Vegas. South Beach. Playboy mansions. Hooters. And we've got Paris Hilton. Wall-to-wall. Going to jail. Getting out of jail. Going back to jail. With CNN, MSNBC, and FOX standing breathlessly by to provide the minute-by-minute minutiae. Complete with helicopter shots. Psychological experts. Those grating, grade-A motherfucks Nancy Grace and Dr. Phil. And when it's not Paris Hilton, it's Lindsay Lohan. Or Anna Nicole Smith. Michael Jackson. O.J. Athletes on androgen. Astronauts in Depends. Runaway, bug-eyed brides. Sanjaya's hair. Flavor Flav's grill. Tommy Lee's cock. Pete Doherty at the end of a needle. Amy Winehouse at the bottom of a shot-glass. Sex, drugs & roll 'n' roll. And rehab. For those at the end of needles, bottom of shot-glasses, and edge of correctness. Cosmo Kramer cries, "Nigger!". Dr. Burke blurts, "Fag!". Mad Max rants against yids and nappy-headed ho's (to borrow a line). See it all -- wall-to-wall -- on CNN, MSNBC, and FOX. Our glorious 24-hour "news" channels. Tell me, Wolf Blitzer, what's the current state of Paris Hilton's snatch? Which star-fucking/already-drawing-up-the-lawsuit loser is right now depositing her toddler on Michael Jackson's lap? How long before O.J. Simpson once again gets the itch to Ginsu? And how long before the next merry band of terrorists goes all suitcase-nuke on our oblivious asses? No doubt sooner than we'll be ready for. Which will leave us shocked. Awed. Retreating to safe rooms with duct tape and plastic sheeting. Rallying around the flag. Voting Republican. Quoting Revelation. Round and round and round it goes. Wolf... Tucker... Hannity... Colmes... say it won't be so. Motherfuck Nancy... Motherfuck Phil... tell us what to feel. How to be. Where to hide. When to cry. Who to sue. That is, if you can break away from the ubiquitous Ms. Hilton just for a minute.... No? Well, never mind.... Terrorists, we await you. We await our empire's televised end.]

Okay then. Sorry 'bout that. But, I mean, Jesus-fucking-Christ....

The California-by-way-of-Alabama band THE SNAKE THE CROSS THE CROWN play a country-inflected indie rock that's subtle but satisfying. Singer KEVIN JONES's wavery voice is unassuming almost to the point of apology. "The Great American Smokeout" sports a shuffling, drunken-sing-along chorus. "Behold the River" slow-builds to a standstill before pushing through to something approximating a climax. And "Empires" coasts on its simple, rustic-yet-elegant grace. Of the three, it's the keeper.

THE SNAKE THE CROSS THE CROWN on MySPACE.

THE SNAKE THE CROSS THE CROWN going west to east across the south, then north >>>

Jun 8 2007 7:00P/Brick House/Phoenix, Arizona
Jun 9 2007 7:00P/Launchpad/Albuquerque, New Mexico
Jun 10 2007 9:00P/Ray's (TSTCTC ONLY)/Marfa, Texas
Jun 11 2007 7:00P/The Parish/Austin, Texas
Jun 12 2007 7:00P/The Conservatory/Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Jun 14 2007 8:00P/Tasty World (w/Two Gallants)/Athens, Georgia
Jun 15 2007 7:00P/Masquerade/Atlanta, Georgia
Jun 16 2007 7:00P/The Social/Orlando, Florida
Jun 18 2007 7:00P/Rock and Roll Hotel/Washington DC
Jun 19 2007 7:00P/Highline Ballroom/New York, New York

From the LP COTTON TEETH, 2007 >>>
[MP3] "The Great American Smokeout"
[MP3] "Behold the River"

From the LP MANDER SALIS, 2004 >>>
[MP3] "Empires"