This wasn't how this was supposed to be.
I had six other songs all picked out and ready to go. Six brand-spankin'-new songs specially-designed to kick you in the ass and then rub it all better. So brand-spankin'-new they still had that new-song smell. Yep, no question, you would have loved 'em. But now you'll just have to wait. Because today, instead of those, we have these....
See, what happened was, I was going through my old mix CDs again (always a dangerous thing), and the song "Woman in Love" by BARBRA STREISAND (yes, that Barbra Streisand) got itself lodged in my medulla oblongata (or wherever the hell it is that songs go to get lodged). Much of the blame for this must go to my old nemesis -- nostalgia. For, you see, Barbra Streisand's is one of those voices of my youth. The '70s, specifically. You know: "Memories/Misty, water-colored memories"; "Love/Soft as an easy-chair"; "Flowers/You don't bring me flowers/Anymore." And, as it turns out: "I am a woman in love/It's a riiiiiight I defeeeend/Over and over agaiiiiiin."
(Hoo boy. I've lived my entire life in an effort to never be this queer.)
But let's be clear here. It's not just nostalgia and Babs' ability to hold a note that are to blame for this sudden, left-field, We-Interrupt-Your-Regularly-Scheduled-Programming post. Blame it, also, on THE BEE GEES. BARRY GIBB, specifically. For, you see, Seductive Barry wrote and sang backing vocals on "Woman in Love." You know: those synthesized, eunuch-android backing vocals that infected JOHN TRAVOLTA with Saturday Night Fever, broke DIONNE WARWICK's heart, and ate DIANA ROSS alive.
You have much to answer for, Mr. Gibb. Not least of which: this here sudden, left-field, We-Interrupt-Your-Regularly-Scheduled-Programming post....
[MP3] BARBRA STREISAND/"Woman in Love" [1980]
[MP3] SAMANTHA SANG/"Emotion" [1977]
[MP3] BARBRA STREISAND & BARRY GIBB/"Guilty" [1980]
[MP3] DIONNE WARWICK/"Heartbreaker" [1982]
[MP3] BARBRA STREISAND & BARRY GIBB/"What Kind of Fool" [1980]
[MP3] ANDY GIBB/"I Just Want to Be Your Everything" [1977]
4 comments:
NEVER apologize for liking La Barbra. NEVER.
wrong. you must always be very, very ashamed of it. and never tell anyone else.
Such very confusing advice... I am torn. A "don't ask/don't tell" sort of situation, I guess....
You know something? There is just something in those 70's songs that is everlasting. My kids loved "I want to be your everything" the first time they heard it. In fact everything from that era is pure magic.
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